Two of my kids used to spend way too much time in front of the mirror. I told them to wash their faces, brush their teeth and comb their hair (once).
If you spend too much time worrying and fussing over your looks, you can be sure that no one else is looking at you as closely as you do.
I've had otherwise healthy patients who were unhappy with minor imperfections. Some would go to great lengths to correct them. This was great for physicians who perform cosmetic procedures, but often the patients were not totally happy with the results.
We can focus excessively on some feature of our appearance (such as a freckle or mole, our height or weight, our body type, the colour of our skin or hair, the straightness or curl of our locks, the shape and symmetry of our facial features, the size of our ears and the appearance of our feet), and that obsessive attention can be a source for unhappiness.
Imagine a party where you could trade physical features with other guests - like a science fiction version of the Tupperware party. In a game of musical body parts, you could trade hair or skin colour, straight for curly hair, or being "too tall" for being "too short." You may be surprised that someone envies the nose you don't like.
When it comes to our own appearance, we lose all objectivity. We tend to overestimate how much others really notice when they see us.
It's likely that few people see your minor imperfections, and those who do likely don't care.
This is particularly true with the people who really care about you. The features you dislike in your-self may be those that your family and friends love the most. More likely, they love the whole package.
We have to stop comparing ourselves to the beautiful people (or rather their images) on magazine covers and on the big screen.
None of us looks like Tom Cruise - except Tom Cruise, and he probably doesn't look quite like the polished persona depicted in Mission: Impossible.
No one looks like Scarlett Johansson - maybe not even Scarlet Johansson in the morning before makeup.
Abraham Lincoln said, "God must have loved the plain people: he made so many of them."
That's not to say we shouldn't look after our bodies. A healthy diet and regular exercise can help us maintain personal wellbeing. Bear in mind that you can be fit and healthy but still not look anything like the slim women or muscular men on magazine covers.
The key is to control the aspects of our lives that we can in order to enjoy a meaningful life. We have to accept the rest.
We are all human and imperfect, but we can still be beautiful in our imperfection. Love yourself just as you are; others do.
Dr. Davidicus Wong is a physician and writer. His Healthwise column appears regularly in this paper. You can find more articles on this and other topics at facebook. com/davidicus.wong and davidicuswong.wordpress. com and listen to his Positive Potential Medicine podcasts at wgrnradio.com.
