At one of the positive points in our lives, my childhood friend Stan said, "When I feel pain, I know I'm alive."
Stress is like that. It's an unavoidable part of life.
We all know about some distant (or not so distant) relative (usually male) who does his best to avoid discomfort and work. He slides through (and out) of school by sleeping in, skipping out and exerting the absolute minimum of effort to just get by.
He doesn't go out of his way for anyone. He waits for others to wait on him.
He waits for them to tell him what has to be done. He avoids not only exercise but sweating itself. He avoids work as much as possible, and if he manages to get a job, he'll do the least he can to keep it.
This stress-avoidance strategy ultimately fails. The sloth causes increasing stress to all around him until no further help is available. Ultimately, he'll face the stress of survival alone - and the void of a potential unfulfilled.
Stress is essential to life. Without positive stress, we would not rise from our beds each morning.
Without internal and external stresses to move forward and challenge ourselves, we would never discover new opportunities and grow.
Without the stress of our everyday lives, the stress of pushing our limits, the stress of our fail-ures and the stress of the major and minor traumas in the stories of our lives, we would never grow stronger, wiser or more compassionate.
Hans Selye distinguished good stress (eustress) from bad stress (distress). Sometimes it's not easy to tell the difference. You may dream of a stress-free life, but such a life could be boring or empty.
Being a parent has been one of the biggest adventures of my life, but it has never been stress-free. Parents are charged with a tremendous responsibility - the physical and emotional well-being of a baby, a toddler, a growing child and eventually a maturing adolescent.
There are special challenges and rewards with each child and at every stage of their growth, and as a child grows, so do we.
Our words - and how we deliver them - can be a source of stress. Our children need our feedback at every stage.
That feedback can help them to continuously improve and grow.
Too often, poorly chosen words can cause distress. We are all inter-connected - dependent on one another in great and small ways. We can harm or help others in our actions and in our words - what we do and what we fail to do, what we say and how we say it.
In the workplace, at school, in the field and at home, what type of stress do you cause others?
What is your effect - positive and negative - on your partner, children, employees, co-workers and others? Being more mindful of this, what would you do differently?
Dr. Davidicus Wong is a physician and writer.
