Dear Editor:
Now that our federal government's plan to buy a $45 billion clutch of F-35 fighter jets has crash landed and we're back at square one, it's time to unveil my super plan: Balloons.
They may seem slow and ineffective, but how better could they represent Canada's parliament?
Their major tactic would be obstruction, but that is the heart of the Harper government's international policy - getting in the way of concerted world action on global warming, for example, and trying to block UN status for Palestine.
Since the best hope of us all for peace is that our airforce would never be needed to combat an enemy attack, the financial advantages of having a fleet of bargain balloons are clear: a million dollars or so for unused balloons instead of $40 billion or so for unused fighter jets.
There would be huge savings in fuel, too, since Ottawa produces a virtually endless supply of hot air to fill the non-polluting airships.
This could help free up Mr. Harper to sell the rest of the tarsands patch to China.
And all citizens could be invited to help build the fleet with sewing bees and quilting parties.
At big public events like the Grey Cup, a gracefully slow fly-past of balloons could display advertising extolling the government's sound fiscal management.
Defence Minister Peter MacKay might find that a balloon is a tad slow getting him back to work from his vacation, but patience, too, is a virtue.
Yes, Ottawa, it is time to escape the jet fighter standoff, emulate those great balloonists Jean and Auguste Piccard, and rise above it all.
Tony Eberts, New Westminster
