Imagine the high peaks of a mountain, the morning dew becoming visible as the sun rises, lighting the sky up with many bright vibrant shades of red, orange and yellow.
The brief peace of nature setting in, as the birds chirp you a pleasant song, it’s almost like their singing "good morning" to you.
Then there's the realization of something being wrong. That’s right, this isn’t real.
I remember now, as I open my eyes, letting out a long sigh, and sitting up in bed. It’s raining outside, the clouds dark and grey, unwelcoming. I can hear my alarm clock blaring loudly.
I slam my hand on the alarm clock and get up. I can feel how heavy my body feels, drooping of fatigue, staying up late watching one too many YouTube shorts. I guess that's the downside of being a night owl, always having this obsession of staying up late but ending up so drained of energy by the time morning dawns.
A warm heat burns across my face knowing the day today. Graduation day.
I still remember a week back going to the mall and searching for the perfect dress for our Grade 7 graduation ceremony today. I can practically feel the anxiousness hitting me all at once. You might think I’m nervous about graduation itself, the embarrassment of being the solo representative of your class, being valedictorian and all, maybe wearing a revealing dress.
However, this is not the case. It’s a silly, stupendous reason, one that shouldn’t even exist, but here I am, fretting over the smallest anxiety ever. Will I be rejected by my crush today?
It seems like an idiotic thing for me to think of, when I have bigger things like a speech to do, on top of that keeping dry on the way to school, and getting changed, yet here I am thinking about that small note I sent yesterday.
Previously, I had sneaked into his classroom while his teacher was gone, and had attached a note onto his backpack, before running out, only to bump straight into him. How embarrassing that was.
We can all agree, or at least most of us young ladies, that when you're an insecure pre-teen, and have anxiety around guys, you can imagine the pure nervousness of being pressed chest to chest against a boy, on top of that, your crush. I must’ve looked like a tomato when I finally got away, because once I found my friends, they started to instantly laugh at me.
I’m hoping, begging at this point he didn’t read that letter. Why do you ask? Because for graduation, his seat is right next to mine. It would be quite awkward, don't you think?
Well, I guess I need to push that aside, because if I don’t hurry and get changed, I’ll be late for school, and graduation. I carefully slip into the black sleeveless dress I had gotten, adjusting the attachable train, and slipping the black gloves on, before walking to my mirror and doing a light layer of makeup. I remember the night before spamming my best friend, Willow on discord, and then begging the life out of her for tips on what to do for makeup and shoes. She said black high-top heels, so that’s exactly what I’ll wear for shoes. I go to the sitting bench near the door, taking out my brand new black high heels, the crimson red trim being all bold and standing out.
I finally head out the door, already most likely going to be a couple minutes late. I know going to bed early would’ve been a better idea, but, of course, I had to stay up and chat on cai, my precious AI app, and playing games.
Maybe the nervousness of my confession and graduation today got my blood all riled up, and that’s why I feel so heated up, even in the cold, wet rain. I can already see the bus pulling in, so I quickly hop on before the doors close, careful not to fall over in my high heels, or trip over my dress. When I arrive at school, all my other fellow peers that are grade 7, like me, are dressed up.
I’ll be honest, all the girls and boys looked pretty or wonderful in their suits, ties and dresses, but there was one person who stood out a lot. That...was Haden.
Haden is the guy I like. He’s a quiet, but considerate and kind boy, and well, just seeing him in that navy-blue suit, white button up collar shirt and black tie, not to mention the classy black shoes, just seemed to change him entirely. He looks so much more mature, if that’s something I can say right now. Quite the contrast of his usual dark grey hoodie, black pants, black sneakers and bowl cut hair, because it seems he might’ve gotten a small adjustment on his hairstyle. He looks over at me but looks away again.
Graduation is starting soon, so everyone gets outside, walking in front of the gym doors for the ceremony to begin. If I could, I’d scream, but everyone would stare at me. I’m ever so nervous.
The music starts playing, I hear my name is announced, and I walk down the front walkway, watching each step thud against the hard wooden floor, and before long I’ve gone through the balloon arch, and am now seated.
Time passes quite fast, until suddenly it slows down. My name is called again. The music award is going to be given to me, but not just me. Haden’s coming up there too.
I feel my heart pound, my cheeks starting to flush as I get up from my seat, watching as Haden also gets and grabs his plaque. I sit back down after, feeling proud, the feeling of contempt sitting in my heart and soul.
The bell rings, it’s the end of the ceremony.
I can feel the hurricane of emotions: anxiety, nervousness, sadness, and the flicker of joy. I’m in grade 8 now, and the future still lays bright ahead. There is so much that could happen before then, but I’ll go towards it.
Towards the light, and the bright future that could change my life forever.
- Gabrielle Tham, Burnaby
You can freach Gabrielle Tham by email at [email protected].
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